Experiencing infertility during the holidays can be emotionally taxing on a couple. Frequently centered around children, the holidays can be a painful reminder of your infertility journey, especially if you keep getting asked, ‘when are you going to get pregnant?’
While you may not feel like celebrating, or maybe you do but want the infertility elephant out of the room, Reproductive Medicine Associates of Philadelphia has put together a few tips to help you navigate those painful moments this holiday season. Here are a few things you can try.
Be prepared for questions
Before you attend a holiday event, think of questions that people might ask you and formulate a response. For example, if someone asks, ‘when are you going to get pregnant,’ you can respond with, ‘when the time is right,’ or ‘we’re just having fun trying for now!’
Answering questions in this manner not only satisfies the person asking and initiates a good laugh, it also gets you off the hook for revealing personal information about your infertility journey.
Learn to say no
It’s ok to say ‘no’ to holiday gatherings that just aren’t high on your priority list. Now we know family gatherings are harder to avoid, but you can limit your time there. Prior to the event, let the host know that you will only be staying for an hour or two. If you find that something triggers your grief while you are there, you can excuse yourself to the kitchen to man the appetizers or after-dinner dishes.
One way to cope with the spectrum of feelings that come with experiencing infertility during the holidays is to share your grief. Communicate with your partner about how you are feeling and what your anxieties are about upcoming gatherings and celebrations. Then, formulate a plan together for how you can handle specific situations. You can choose subtle signals to let each other know that the other is OK, needs a little help or is itching to go.
Remember, you have control of how you spend your time over the holidays. Choose to partake in the traditions that feel right, and pass on the ones that don’t. Make the holidays what you want them to be, knowing that next year, which is just a few days away, will bring new hope and new beginnings.
To make an appointment with RMA of Philadelphia, call 855.762.4672.