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The holiday season can be rough for those dealing with infertility. Emotions can run high, making it hard to talk to people who don’t share a similar personal experience.

To be fair, most people are well-intentioned and truly want to be supportive. They simply may not know how to help. But when you need all the support you can get, it may feel like a lot of work to tell people what you need.

To that end, we recently asked a number of couples who are part of the FertiliTalk fertility support network, for holiday advice that you can pass along to your friends and family.

Share the link, print out the post and help others give the gift of empathy this holiday season.


  • Make suggestions that you think will help me through the holiday season, Ex: Just relax, have a drink, enjoy the music
  • Tell me it would be a great new year’s resolution
  • Tell me to not worry if I already have a child and to enjoy the holiday with them, when all I want is another
  • Tell me a great gift would be adoption
  • Send me a holiday card with all your children, maybe a special one with a beautiful note


  • Tell me you don’t know what to say
  • Give me a nice compliment like you like my holiday outfit this year
  • Leave inspirational notes from a co-worker, spouse, partner
  • Get me cozy gifts like neck warmers, nice socks, massages
  • Tell me to treat myself to a day of beauty, yoga or acupuncture
  • Buy me gifts that will make me smile

Our fertility doctors are here to help you learn how to cope with the physical and emotional challenges associated with infertility.  For some, infertility can be physically and emotionally painful, an intrusive process.  Others need help focusing on how to deal with another’s responses, how to choose the right medical treatment, or how to begin exploring other family building options.  For others, it may be on how to control, stress, anxiety, or depression.