By Pamela Madsen, The Fertility Advocate, Guest Blogger
I was so sad to hear about Maya Angelou’s passing. She was one of the strongest, most insightful women of my generation. And she once said something that has stuck with me ever since. “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
When I was going through treatments, I remember feeling like it was the a “Season of my Discontent.” It can feel like anxiety or restlessness, or sadness, or even depression. And here is the thing: If you don’t change directions, you are going to end up where you’re headed.
And you might really love where you are going. And you might really be more than fine with where you land. And you might stay in that season of discontent for a really long time.
Now this is a blog about infertility and baby making and medical decisions. So how does this notion of changing direction fit into the picture here?
You are on a course—a path to parenthood. You want a family. Well, how long have you been on this current course of action?
Check in with yourself. How are you feeling right now on your path to parenthood? Are you feeling restless, annoyed, uncertain, just a little pissed off all the time? Are you filled with feelings that you just can’t name?
If you are feeling this way, are you too scared to change direction? Do you feel like a sailboat caught in “irons”. They can’t move, but they are right on course.
Well then, this blog is for you. I believe that if you are feeling all of the symptoms of discontent that I have described – it’s time to sit up and take notice.
Changing course on your path to parenthood may mean moving from “thinking” about infertility treatment to making a first appointment. It could mean moving from injectable medications and IUI to IVF. It could mean moving from IVF with your own eggs or sperm to donor eggs or donor sperm.
Changing course may be a second opinion or a meeting with your doctor to look over the plan once again.
But here’s the deal. I f you find within yourself the ability to do something different, something will change. And I can pretty much nail the outcome for you.
You will feel empowered. And trust me, there is nothing like feeling empowered.
Life is going by very fast these days. Maybe it always was. But I am feeling it more and more.
I think it might be time for all of us to change direction and have a second look at the decisions we are making. It’s time to get serious about what we really want in our lives. Is it time to shift your perspective and perhaps your priorities?
Please don’t tell me that now is not the time, but you are going to do “This” soon. That you really want “This”. But you have to save more money, or the time is not right, or that you are too stuck and nothing ever works anyway.
It’s time to experiment with radical imagination and live your great big beautiful life. Go on. Do something different. It’s time to move forward again.