Take a poll of people experiencing pregnancy issues and my guess is, the majority of them will tell you that Mother’s Day infertility one of the hardest issues that they face each year. It feels like the world is celebrating motherhood and someone forgot to include you. The pain of another year gone by and still no baby!
So, how do you get through this? It may not be easy, but if you begin to plan, you’ll feel more in control and able to take care of yourself.
Tip #1: Examine Your Feelings
Start with asking yourself how you feel about the upcoming holiday – are you in a sad to angry zone? Or neutral? Or happy to celebrate your wonderful mom? Do you feel the same as last year or have things changed?
Spend some time figuring this out as it’s the key to planning for a good day of self-care.
Tip #2: Take Some Time For Yourself
If you’re feeling in the sad to angry zone, perhaps skipping the festivities would do you a world of good. Explain to your loved ones how it’s just too painful to celebrate this year, and that Mother’s Day and infertility cause many heartaches (if they don’t understand, print out the RESOLVE fact sheet for talking to friends and family about infertility). Take in a movie (perhaps even a movie about infertility), get some things done that you’ve put off for too long, or start your garden.
Tip #3: Spend Time Away With Your Significant Other
Maybe a weekend away with your partner would be nice, or cooking a romantic dinner together at home would do the trick. Or, if you’re outdoorsy, a long, scenic hike or bike ride. If your partner is male, make sure they find ways to cope when Father’s Day rolls around.
Tip# 4: Put Your Focus on Improving Others’ Lives
Doing for others when you are feeling down is a great antidote – is there a local food bank or other charity that needs help? Whatever it is, try to pick something that will bring you some joy! You deserve it, given what you’ve been through.
For others, drawing attention away from themselves, and towards their mother, grandmother, or other loved mother suits them more, where they can jump into celebrations by either hosting or attending gatherings.
In the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day with infertility, look for support groups or webinars or think about traveling to Washington, D.C. for RESOLVE’s advocacy day to help the collective voices of the infertility community be heard.
Mother’s Day Infertility: Compassion for Yourself & Others
Most of all, be kind and compassionate to yourself and your partner. Acknowledge how you feel and practice self-care so you can save your energy for the goal in front of you. Know that you are not alone in your infertility journey.